Pre-wedding anxiety is normal and something I see to a greater or lesser extent in all of my wedding photography clients. Coping with pre-wedding anxiety is possible, and I will give you some tips. Some couples are totally on the ball and claim they don’t have any worries. The following is for those couples who need a little help.
I’ve been a wedding photographer for about a decade now, so I’ve seen a lot of weddings, and I have some tips and suggestions for you all as you plan your wedding day.
What is Pre-Wedding Anxiety?
Pre-wedding anxiety arises because society places so much pressure on the perfect wedding day. This pressure comes from your expectations, amplified by those well-meaning family members who want the best for you. Some of the anxiety also comes from knowing that you will be the centre of attention, and you may feel that you must perform for your guests and the camera.
Remember: It’s your day, so you should plan it to be the wedding you both want. There are expectations, but what you do or don’t do is up to you.
So how can the anxiety be mitigated?
Planning
If you plan out your day and know when the major events such as the ceremony, speeches, wedding breakfast and first dance are, you can work out how long you need for preparation and travel times. Remember that all your providers have been to many weddings, so listen to their advice on timings.
Make sure that you are both involved in the planning from the start. If one of you cares more about table centrepieces, let them organise them while you tackle something else.
A clean room keeps things relaxed and looks better in photos. If there is anyone you know to be a worrier, don’t have them around if possible.
Delegation
You have a bridal party, so put them to good use. These are some of the most important people in your life, they will want to help you have the best wedding day.
Delegation is important. Remember, it is two people getting married; if it is a male/female wedding, then much of the work can fall on the woman. This is obviously an outdated approach so lets lay it to rest right from the start. There are two of you in this relationship so there should be two of you doing the work
You can set out roles for bridesmaids and groomsmen for the day and make sure they know what you expect from them for that role.
If the groomsmen are in charge of sorting the bride and groom’s side at the ceremony, they need to know in advance which side is which and which seats need to be kept clear for the bridal party.
Let’s Talk Money
Weddings can be costly, so keep on top of your budget. Whether you are a spreadsheet master or using an app, knowing where the money is coming from and going to can alleviate many of your worries.
Get quotes from several suppliers and see examples of their work. Don’t necessarily go with the cheapest but choose someone who is within your budget and who you can get along with.
Do take the time to look at their reviews and talk to their previous clients. Having a team of great suppliers around you means you don’t have to worry about them doing their job. This point is crucial. Once you have thoroughly checked out your suppliers and had a thorough consultation, try to step back and let them do their jobs.
Expectations
Set your expectations with your suppliers and venue and have a timeline of when to expect communications, when payments are due and when deliveries will happen. Make sure you have primary and secondary contact methods. The clearer your understanding of what to expect, the more you can relax.
Due-diligence
Make sure you vet your suppliers carefully. A bit of checking now could save you a lot of trouble later. Recommendations are beneficial here. If you know someone recently married, ask them who they used and how their experience was.
Look at the reviews on people’s websites by all means, but take it further than that. Check the Google and Facebook reviews of whichever supplier you are looking at. They don’t have to be 5*, but if they have had a negative review, check why and see how they resolved it.
A photographer is only ever going to show their best work. Ask to see a complete wedding or two and speak to some of their couples.
Price v Experience
There is a definite correlation between price and experience. If you want to keep your costs down, you can hire someone just starting out. If you are reading this article because you feel the butterflies fluttering, don’t go for the cheapest option.
One of the things that you are paying for is someone’s experience, and while this is not always true, it is worth bearing in mind.
Something Doesn’t Feel Right
Cold feet or intuition? I know of 3 of my previous couples who later got divorced, and in each instance, one of them hasn’t been bothered about getting married. The vibe they gave off leading up to the wedding and on the day was disinterested in the situation.
If you have been living together for 30 years and are just getting married as a formality, then the excitement may not be high, which can be okay. Others don’t show their enthusiasm. But if you are young and excited and making your wedding plans and your partner makes it seem like a chore, then before you go any further, sit down and have an in-depth conversation about why you are getting married and make sure it is what you both want. Sometimes it is better to wait a few years.
Top Tips
To help cope with pre-wedding anxiety:
- Make the plan as mentioned above, and make sure you build flexibility into that plan. If, for example, you know that you must be at the church at 1 pm and the journey is 20 minutes, then you don’t want to be ready in your dress for 12.30 pm. Be ready for noon.
- If you are getting prepared at home, have a good clean-up the day before. If you are at a hotel, ensure your bridesmaids know to keep things tidy.
- Share the planning with your partner.
- Delegate tasks to your bridal party.
- Communicate with your suppliers regularly.
- Hire a great wedding photographer!
Check out my packages, portfolio and contact me.
For more helpful blogs, take a look at:
5 Bespoke Lancashire Wedding Venues
Booking a Wedding Photographer